Like many women with ADHD, I was diagnosed at the same time as my 10-year old daughter.  At the time, there were few protocols in place for school-aged children with ADHD, and even less for adults.  ADHD was reserved for hyperactive little boys, not smart, energetic little girls, and certainly not women in their 40’s.  We were proverbial fish out of water.  Schools (especially in our rural area) were not ready to deal with youngsters with Special Issues, and my daughter’s subsequent educational journey was not an easy one.

My own diagnosis of ADHD was mind-blowing.  It explained Everything.  Well, almost.  I now understood the basis of so many of my unusual life choices.  My tendency to change jobs – I had thus far undertaken twenty plus various careers, everything from flight attendant to bank teller to photojournalist for a leading motorcycle magazine. Every time I secured a position, I was sooooo sure that I had finally found my true calling. 

I discovered I was terrible at sales – I refused to let people buy merchandise that I thought  they didn’t need.  One summer I found myself  working with lab rats in the basement of UCLA’s Psychology Department.  (Don’t worry – I not only made sure they were treated humanely, but brought them home with me when the experiments ended. My apartment manager was not thrilled.)  That job led to teaching classes to people with legal issues regarding driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and eventually led to my tenure as a substitute teacher at my children’s elementary school. 

By then I had become a single mother on a tight budget, and I was simultaneously working at two additional jobs at the school – classroom volunteer coordinator, and parent education teacher.  Both of these were self-described positions I had created by examining the needs of the school and combining that with my own need not to be bored.  At night I attended classes at a nearby university in hopes of becoming a paralegal. And then there was the Committee Work – Americorps, North County Health Collaborative, School Site Council, and, of course, the PTA.   I think that was the year a friend and I started a non-profit business donating used computers to … well, I don’t remember, but it was somebody or something worthy.   Also, some time in there I was volunteering every other weekend on the Rape Crisis Hotline.  My house was a mess. Yet the Quest for fulfillment continued.

Having ADHD also illuminated the reasons behind my social awkwardness, my “oversensitivity” and occasional melt-downs, my tendency to make piles rather than putting things away, the procrastination, making inappropriate impulsive decisions, and my inability to prioritize.  The list goes on – I am practically the Poster Child for Adult ADHD.

But I digress (another well-known characteristic of ADHD).  Knowing some whys about my previous quirky behavior helped a bit, but it created a lot of sadness, resentment, and anger.  What if I had not been encumbered by ADHD?  What if I hadn’t made so many mistakes in my attempts to be “normal”?  What if I had valued my hard-won successes and used that basis to build more self-confidence? 

In the words of Marlon Brando in “On the Waterfront”, “…I coulda been a contender, I coulda been somebody…”  Or maybe not.  But at least I could have gotten a peek at the hand I’d been dealt.

Now that I’d seen the  cards, where did we go from here?  ADHD brings with it the gifts of resilience and determination, so I couldn’t just give up. 

I discovered a delightful Psychiatrist specializing in ADHD, and we found medication that assuaged my particular set of symptoms.  Every few weeks we would meet to assess my well-being on a scale of 1 to 10 and discuss how I was coping with daily life as filtered through my ADHD brain.  While he offered sage advice, I watched the squirrels playing in the tree outside his office. 

He loaned or suggested a few informative books from his own library, but most of them were scholarly, focused primarily on children, and, worse, had no pictures, thereby severely challenging my ability to concentrate.  (By now, however, I have located some additional great books written for adults with ADHD, listed on my Resources page.)

In addition, I have been fortunate enough to engage a terrific therapist, and although she is not an expert in ADHD, she is familiar enough with it to acknowledge the extra finesse necessary to deal with the everyday challenges of the ADHD mindset.

But what I really needed, especially when I was first diagnosed, was a more hands-on approach, someone to collaborate with me while I built strategies to deal more effectively with my re-evaluated life and work style.  Support and encouragement were important, and I wanted solutions and accountability.  What I needed was a coach!  My ADHD brain came up with dozens of reasons not to get one, the most legitimate being that I hadn’t realized they exist.  And once I found out about coaches, I still wasn’t ready.  What would I want from a coach?  How do I find one who is right for me?  Could I afford one?  I’m doing okay without one … sort of. 

Finally, I decided to become my own coach.  (Why go the easy route?)  My courses at UCLA  (BA in Psychobiology) in psychology and the neurology of the brain served as an excellent educational foundation.  Post-diagnosis, I had been able to find a job that suited my unusual capabilities and idiosyncrasies, and my subsequent 13ish years as a case manager/ counselor for the Department of Social Services and the local Homeless Shelter had honed my ability to build on people’s strengths and support them in whatever they were dealing with at the moment. 

I voraciously read (almost) everything I could find about ADHD: the intricacies of the brain, and how it is wired to produce the behavioral tendencies that make up ADHD, and the psychological and physical results of these behavioral proclivities. (Some of these resources are listed here.) 

I even went back to the books that had been previously recommended, and several more that had been published in the years since my diagnosis.  A great deal of research has been done in the last few years, and it has been fascinating to see how theories and methods of treatment have changed.  Throughout my Quest for Knowledge, I took copious notes, which I arranged into teetering piles.

I also enrolled in an accredited coaching program that supplemented my knowledge of interviewing, marketing, productivity, technology relating to social media, and actual hands-on coaching.  I found the classes and seminars to be enriching, especially those that covered productivity and time management. At the end of the course, I was the proud owner of a Coaching Certificate and an Official Badge. I was ready! 

Throughout my research and classes I had discovered many useful methods and shortcuts that made living with ADHD more manageable.  I became more productive, less likely to be overwhelmed by big projects, and even stopped blaming myself for everything.  Decisions came more easily, and were better thought out.  Plus I learned to pace myself, and accomplish the most important tasks in the morning, when I was most efficient. 

At this point it occurred to me that there must be others out there who would benefit from my newly-acquired knowledge.  I decided to  share.  I have set out to do just that: offer resources, insights, and coaching to those who want it.  So far, it has gone quite well. 

I find it fulfilling that almost all my clients have succeeded in moving forward with their lives using ideas and strategies we have collaborated on to turn ADHD liabilities into strengths.   They have reported improved relationships, more productivity, wiser decisions, and less stress.  To which I can only say, YAY!

I would be delighted to have you become one of my Satisfied Clients.